


Body and Soul

by Talik_Sanis



Series: Erotic Crack Fics [4]
Category: Miraculous Ladybug
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Crack, F/M, Hot Mess Adrien Agreste, Hot Mess Marinette Dupain-Cheng, Identity Reveal, Implied Sexual Content, Nosy Alya Césaire, Pre-Reveal Adrien Agreste | Chat Noir/Marinette Dupain-Cheng | Ladybug, Pregnancy Kink, Soulmate-Identifying Marks, This Is STUPID, contrived, crass - Freeform, implied - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-03
Updated: 2021-03-03
Packaged: 2021-03-16 16:22:22
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,706
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29827668
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Talik_Sanis/pseuds/Talik_Sanis
Summary: Alya has been on the edge of her seat ever since Marinette showed up to school on her eighteenth birthday, doubtlessly sporting a soul-mark that confirms that she and Adrien are soulmates.Just what is it about their soul-marks that has them acting so awkwardly around each other?... this is not the romantic and heartfelt confession of simple, wholesome affection that would slow-burn into the sweetest coupling between innocent cinnamon rolls that Alya had envisioned.
Relationships: Adrien Agreste | Chat Noir/Marinette Dupain-Cheng | Ladybug, Alya Césaire/Nino Lahiffe
Series: Erotic Crack Fics [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1972855
Comments: 29
Kudos: 71





	Body and Soul

**Author's Note:**

> That "this is stupid" tag? Heed it. 
> 
> Also, this work was inspired by a piece of art. I have searched high and low for a twitter, instagram, deviantart, artstation, or other profile for the artist responsible, without any success, sadly, so I do not feel comfortable sharing the image without giving him or her proper credit. 
> 
> See the end-note for a description of the image that would have appeared right after the Adrienette ... "confession."
> 
> Likewise based on a prompt from the very talented author [MissNoodles.](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Missnoodles/pseuds/Missnoodles) I cannot recommend her stories "Coin Operated Boy" and "Full Exposure" highly enough.

Marinette had always dreamt of receiving her soul-mark. It was more hotly anticipated and eagerly longed-for than any birthday or Christmas present imaginable.

For any burgeoning adult, a soulmate bond was, quite literally, a mark of pride that evidenced a transition from childhood to maturity. At eighteen, when the mark appeared on the relevant portion of a person's body, the soul-tie locked into place and the image depicted gave the new-found soulmate a window into the nature of the relationship that he or she was to have with the person with whom fate, destiny, god or some other unfathomable force in the universe decreed they would spend their life.

When her beau-gosse turned eighteen, Alya was thrilled to discover a twined pair of glowing orange fox tails on the inside of his wrist, while the reporter herself woke on the morning of her birthday to see a set of headphones on her neck.

Soul-marks could take any form imaginable, from first words said in the presence of your destined partner, to symbolic illustrations, to poetry. The variance in form and style was vast.

No one questioned how soul-marks were so keenly tuned to a person's current interests or status, but inevitably, everyone got something.

Even aromatic and asexual individuals found themselves with soul-marks of a sort, as did destined polycules.  
  
God, fate, destiny, or the blind forces of the universe did not discriminate, it seemed, as platonic soulmates were certainly common.

As the polycule of Alix, Max, Ondine, and Kim could attest, given that they had two heterosexual members, an aromantic, and an asexual among them.

That had been complicated for them to figure out until all of them had received their soul-marks, but, as was the case with soulmates, it all worked out in the end.

It always did.

After the first few days, soul-marks began to dissipate, springing to life with glowing radiance and thrumming heat again only in the presence of one's soulmate.

Now, it was Marinette's turn.

As one of the youngest girls in their grade, she had been on pins and needles waiting to see if her dream – her fondest wish – would come true.

Could she be Adrien's soulmate?

He'd refused to share his soul-mark with anyone, even Nino, and had never said anything, but she hoped beyond hope that his stuttery glances in her direction and the flaming blush that Alya assured her over and over again was not her imagination were proof positive that Adrien was just being a gentleman and waiting for her to receive her mark – as was the tradition in what Alya referred to as "old-timey-times" – before announcing his intentions.

The morning of her eighteenth birthday- she had slept because Hawkbutt, the jerk, had sent out three akumas in the last week, and even an Adrien Agreste soul-mark wasn't worth sacrificing the two or three hours of sleep she was going to be able to get this week – Marinette sprang from bed with the first klaxon of her alarm clock and raced to the wide full-body mirror she had set up.

Fully nude, having stripped before bed for just this purpose, she stared at the sinewy muscles that arched down her arms and shoulders. Nothing. A poke and thorough examination of her perky boobs unveiled no telltale marks or radiance. Turning on her heel, she reviewed her butt, back, and shoulders, and even parted her hair to check the nape of her neck.

She snarled as she turned on her reflection, stopping cold when the motion caused her to splay open her thighs by just an inch so that she could see inside.

Centimeter by centimeter like a rusty drawbridge, her legs parted fully.

The ensuing scream could be heard in a ten block radius, and inspired three phone-calls to the police.

* * *

Alya Cesaire was intimately familiar with her bestie's many forms of breakdowns. There were the Adrien breakdowns (which were so numerous as to require further sub-categories). The Jagged-Stone-commission breakdowns. The bisexual awakening breakdown that had sadly been triggered by Kagami and not Alya herself but what's a girl to do? The Lila and Chloe breakdowns, and the Lila/Chloe breakdown when the two of them finally got laid and stopped being such bitches except to each other 'cause it got them hot. And the overworked breakdowns.

This breakdown, however, was entirely novel. Previously unseen by mortal eyes, though it bore some resemblance to the "I'm horny as fuck and want to bang Adrien Agreste right in the middle of class due to my excessive thirst and desire to claim him in front of Chloe and Lila" kind of breakdown.   
  
Girl was clearly thirsty, but that wasn't the end of it, to be sure. 

Marinette had been bumbling and flailing worse than Adrien himself had been over the past few weeks, up until today, at least, as Sunshine Child walked into a door the moment that he laid eyes on her best friend. The stuttering, blushing, screwball messes that they'd become, fidgeting in their seats and low-key panting after each other throughout class, implied that Alya was right on the money. Adrien _must_ have been Marinette's soulmate.

There was just no reason for them to be such dorks about it!

The shy and sensitive babies, too pure for each other, or for confessions, it seemed. Clearly, an antiquated sense of decorum was not the reason for Adrien's reluctance; he was just shy, like her girl.

Fortunately, they had her, as they just needed a little push - one that Alya would be happy to provide after class let out.

As she waited for her opportune moment to pounce, listening to their literature professor drone on about H. P. Lovecraft's evocative prose style and the complex poeticism that ignorant Philistines are utterly incapable of appreciating as they care only for the prosaic and saccharine pablum of realistic fiction that numbs the brain and enervates the imaginative soul...

And she was completely lost, having tuned him out.

Seriously, prof, the thesaurus was not meant to be bedtime reading material.

Blocking out his typically verbose and only partially-comprehensible ramble as she slumped in her seat, resting her chin in her palms, she could only wonder what Marinette and Adrien were seeing at the moment. Soul-marks glowed faintly when in the presence of a destined partner, but in the first few weeks after their emergence, they also became visible to that special someone, regardless of clothing. As soon as she'd awoken to her soul-bond with Nino, she'd seen her fox-tail insignia shining through his jacket, as clear as if he was naked.

Which he soon was, at least partially, in a janitor's closet, but that was a story she'd saved for girl's night with Marinette.

So, what _were_ those two blushing dorks seeing?! Alya _had_ to know. Reporter-instincts, honed by years of hunting down Ladyblog scoops, compelled her to investigate.

When Marinette fled from class immediately after the professor dismissed them, Alya was hot on her heels, outpaced only by Adrien as all three of them left their supplies and bags for Nino to pick up and lug after them.

He was a good boyfriend; she'd pay him back later.

Adrien caught up to his soulmate, Alya assumed, outside the school, grasping her shoulder and spinning her around to face him, and they made such a lovely pair. Great heaving shudders raced through Marinette's form while she cast her gaze about her for a distraction or means of escape, and then, as if realizing that he was violating her boundaries, his hands like talons driving into her shoulders, Adrien pulled back.

This was it! He was doing it, and Alya settled in with cell-phone camera in hand to record.

“Marinette?” His fists were now to his sides, clenched up, as he half bowed like a Japanese school-girl about to confess her crush and it was adorable and perfect! This was what Alya had wanted forever and it was better than _sex_ because Nino was a great guy but he still had a lot to learn which added to the disappointment surrounding Marinette's bisexual awakening with Kagami.

“Y-yes, Adrien?” Marinette responded, fully flamed-up, seemingly unaware of Alya as she lined up the perfect shot of soulmates confessing! Better than that, her best friend being confessed to by her soulmate!

Adrien was hesitating, tearing at the fabric of his jeans as Marinette fidgeted in place, too flustered to flee, and the tension was mounting to the po-

Adrien screamed, face pinched up as everyone in the courtyard, and in the street beyond, stopped and stared while a few passing cars got into some fender-benders.

The response came from Alya's boyfriend, who had finally caught up, rather than her best friend.

“ _Nooooo_! Bro, that's not how you confess to a girl!” Dropping to his knees like Charlton Heston[ in _Planet of the Apes_ and scattering all their collected bags and supplies, Nino smashed a fist into the concrete and loosed a tormented wail.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sPbjPOgRtyA&ab_channel=MartinGraupner)

And then Marinette answered, not with a slap, as Alya had expected, but a joyously manic scream, the tension bursting.

“I will _totally_ be your cumdump,” she yelled into Adrien's face, “but I think we're poly because I'm going to have to be Chat Noir's cumdump too!”

“I am totally and completely okay with that so long as you don't care if I give Ladybug my baby batter!” Adrien screamed right back while Alya's phone really began to shake in her unsteady hands.

Marinette's thighs – right where Adrien was staring – were clenching together even tighter as she grabbed Adrien by the edges of his jacket, though she was likewise gazing, rapt, down at his junk.

“My God you have no idea how fucking hot that is!”  
  
This was not the romantic and heartfelt confession of simple, wholesome affection that would slow-burn into the sweetest coupling between innocent cinnamon rolls that Alya had envisioned.

As Adrien and Marinette locked hands and began to race off towards the bakery, Alya thumbed off the video camera setting on her phone and assisted her soulmate as he wobbled to his feet.

She'd take it.

Just like Adrien was going to be taking his personal cumdump, and Marinette her baby-batter dispenser, in about sixty seconds.

**Author's Note:**

> The work of art that inspired this crack consisted of line-art featuring Marinette with wide green lettering along her inner-thighs that read "Adrien Agreste's exclusive cum hole" on one thigh, and "Chat Noir's too!" on the other, which is what Marinette is sporting as a soul-mate mark here, just as Adrien has "Marinette Dupain-Cheng's exclusive baby-batter dispenser" and "Ladybug's too!" because "crack."
> 
> The image that does appear is public-domain as part of an advertisement put out by the publisher and artist: (Very! NSFW: https://twitter.com/Tulipman_18 )
> 
> Like I said, this is stupid. 
> 
> Goodnight, everybody.


End file.
